Another season of Dexter has come and gone. How do we feel about the end of another segment in our story? Let's get to it.
While Dexter frantically gathers his stalking paraphernalia to go rescue Lumen, he is rudely interrupted by . . . Astor and Cody! They want to spend the summer with him! How sweet. But, it's business as usual for Dex, who is off and running.
Deb and LaGuerta strategize finding Jordan Chase. Blah blah. Quinn is at his desk looking all a bother. When Deb questions his distress, Quinn reveals that he had a lot of things "crash down on him". No kidding, Sherlock.
Back on the hunt, Dex gets a call from Jordan, who lays on the guilt trip about Rita, but in the meantime, he lets it slip that Lumen is still alive. Oh, there she is! In the trunk. How cliche. In an "obvious plot point" happening, a fruta salesman recognizes Jordan in his car (who is this guy that the non-English speaking population knows who he is? Dr. Phil?) and hears Lumen banging around in the back. Jordan retaliates by knocking her out. Well played, sir.
Meanwhile, Dex is back at Miami Metro, trying to find properties that are registered to Jordan. He chats with Deb about the situation, and she tells Dex that she really feels like she knows what these women went through, a callback to her season 1 dealings with Dexter's creepy brother, the Ice Truck Killer, which turns out to be an important point for discussion later on.
After verbally abusing the real estate records guy, Dexter discovers that Jordan owns the camp where they first tortured Emily Birch. Bingo! But not so fast! LaGuerta spoils things by telling them that Liddy's body has been discovered. Bricks are crapped on the part of Dex and Quinn, and off we go.
We're on a boat. Quinn is visibly troubled, and in order to avoid the inevitable subpoena is deleting his voicemails faster than Chuck Norris's leg in a roundhouse kick. When we arrive at the crime scene, LaGuerta immediately corners Quinn to inquire why Liddy's last four calls were made to him, while simultaneously using her super-human vision to notice the minute blood spot on Quinn's shoe. A lawyer is requested. Oh, snap. Is this the end of Quinn?
Meanwhile, at the second location (which closely resembled the Lost Boys' hideout), Lumen attempts to escape Jordan, who, in return treats her like . . . a piece of meat? Seriously, WTF was up with the sniffing? Honestly, Twilight did it better. And since Twilight did it badly... Anyway, Lumen's escape attempt is foiled by a chain link fence. Better luck next time!
Things aren't going great for Dexter either. Due to a heated conversation with Harry, Dexter crashes his stolen car just as he arrives at Camp River Jordan. Clearly, the man can't catch a break. Jordan appears, holding the world's most useless looking hand gun, and proceeds to tie him up with Lumen. The kill tools are confiscated. We wonder where MacGuyver is for such a time as this.
Continuing to be the only useful person at Miami Metro, Deb speaks poor Spanish to the fruta man, managing to discover the direction in which he was headed. And the chase is on.
Jordan waxes on to Dex and Lumen, and is apparently so caught up in the moment that he doesn't notice Dex stealing a knife (seriously, where did that thing come from?). One moment Jordan was talking, and the next thing I knew, Dexter was knifing him in the foot! Awesome and seemingly unbelievable. And we find Jordan Chase on the kill table. Fin-al-ly.
Dex offers Lumen the kill, which she attends to with . . . gusto? And yet another big villain is finished.
But wait! The real suspense is just getting started, when who shows up just as Lumen and Dex are cleaning up the kill room? Deb. But, just when you think the crap is hitting the fan, she lets them go. She is literally 20 feet from finding out the truth. And she let's. them. go. I know. Heart stopping. But, I think that this deserves some discussion, as this is going to be a huge thing for Deb's character development. In the old days, Deb saw things as much more black and white, but this season, her confusion over whether or not some people deserve to die has been really eye-opening for her. After her own experiences with Brian, watching Rita get murdered, and then having to witness all of those rape dvds over and over again, Deb has come to realize that maybe she doesn't see things so concretely anymore, and I think this is going to be huge for when she finally finds out the truth about Dexter. Instead of being disgusted, I think she'll understand. Agreed?
After all this, it's still time for Harrison's birthday party. But before that, Lumen has some news. Her dark passenger is gone, and she has to leave. For me, this was the most heartbreaking thing I have ever seen on Dexter. Even moreso than the image of poor Rita in the bathtub. Dexter begs her not to go with an urgency that he has never shown on the show before. Wheras he didn't discover his true feelings about Rita until it was too late, I believe that Dexter truly, truly loves Lumen. And credit to Michael C. Hall, because honestly, you could just see his heart breaking in that moment, while he says to Lumen, "Don't be sorry your darkness is gone. I'll carry it for you. Always. I'll keep it with mine." Maybe the most romantic thing he has ever said, no? And it makes sense to him. Logically, she has to go, but it doesn't make it any less difficult.
And so we come to the end. Deb and Quinn (who has been cleared by Dexter, as a thank you to Deb) are happy. Angel and LaGuerta pledge to make a fresh start. Masuka feels up a stripper. All is right with the world.
So what will happen to Dexter until next season? Can Deb be in a healthy relationship? Will Masuka finally get that STD panel? Does Maria LaGuerta own anything other than floral skirts? What does Angel's head look like under that hat? I'll be tackling these questions and more when Dexter resumes next fall. So until then, we sail into the sunset.