1) How many times did they have to say that they were in the Dominican Republic? I mean, really? The product placement has been completely OUT OF CONTROL this season, with the constant hotel name dropping, the reminders of where in the actual heck they are all the time, to having Andi spew clearly scripted facts about each place. I was growing weary of hearing "Dominican Republic" after about two minutes, and I've actually been there.
|Nick's alter ego.|
2) Nick. Oh Lord. I don't even know where to start with this fool. First of all, since I haven't commented on the last few weeks, I can't even begin to figure out the appeal of this guy. He is SUCH a baby! Basically, he has been walking around like the hare before the tortoise kicked his cocky behind to the curb, and I do not find it appealing in the least. Not to mention, the way his family talked about his previous breakup last week and the way he has acted every time something doesn't go his way, I can totally see how he could be the type that would just be aggressively not okay after being dumped. Not to mention, his storybook he made for Andi last night was totally creepy. What was up with the bikini clad people making out on the bed? I mean, seriously? Vile! I do not want to be reminded that she is going to probably actually engage in coitus with these people she barely knows and on three consecutive nights. Yuck. The big conflict in the Nick narrative last night was whether or not he was going to tell Andi he loved her (not, as I would have suspected, whether or not he would have been visible from space under a black light considering all of the neon he was sporting), and he eventually did, using no fewer than 50 words. "I love what I know about you. Like, I love that you're a serious girl who doesn't take herself so seriously. I love that you know what you want but you can go with the flow... I love that you're very confident and strong but not afraid to be vulnerable. And [pause] I love you, Andi." Good heavens, Harry Burns. Get to the point! But Andi loves it, and off they go to the fantasy suite so that Nick can "talk her ear off." Sure. Whatever.
2) Josh. I don't know about any of you, but with Josh, I have the exact opposite problem Ih have with Nick. Whereas Nick can't seem to shut his face, I have yet to see Josh say anything of meaning whatsoever! The parts of their date we see don't involve much talking except that we do get to see Josh pick up some sort of liquid aphrodisiac (to help him not pull an Ed in the Fantasy Suite?), and he does pull her aside and tell her he loves her, which he "means for the first time ever" (a blow to all of Josh's previous paramours, no?), but basically with the same affect that I would use to describe my love for taking Flintstones vitamins. Andi must be with me a little bit on this, because she is still unsure about what's up when she and Josh have dinner, but Josh shrugs off her questions with prosaic answers and beautiful teeth. Basically, her conflict is that she doesn't want to have traveled all of this way to end up with the same kind of brainless jock she has dated before. But who cares about that right? To the Fantasy Suite they go!
3) Chriiiiiiis. UGH. It was so sad! After spending the day horseback riding, Andi decides to cut Chris loose halfway through dinner. She tries to make it sound like it isn't because she can't see herself living in Iowa, but you can tell that that's totally part of it. But what was so great about it was the way Chris was a total class act about it. He was disappointed, but he didn't storm off, he didn't pout, he didn't badmouth her to the limo-cam. It was so refreshing! Good for you, Chris. I respect you, man.
|Andi! Amahl the tentmaker called,|
says he has your new dress ready!
So, at the end, there is a completely unnecessary Rose Ceremony in which Andi gives the guys an opportunity to "reject the rose." Um. More than likely they just accepted your carnal rose, missy, so what makes you think they are going to reject your actual flower? But, I digress. Roses are accepted by both Nick and Josh, and we are off to the finale!
4). One last comment - WHO was making Andi's dresses this week? Every single thing she had on was an unflattering MESS. Stacy and Clinton need to pull her aside and teach her the importance of finding silhouettes to enhance her figure, not hide it behind billows of unnecessary fabric!
Well, I think that about covers it. Next week? The trash mouthing of Nick will commence with this installment of "Men Tell All!" Can't wait! Until then!