So much to discuss about tonight's penultimate episode of Dexter's fifth season! Honestly, the pants were getting a little damp by the end. I really missed being held in complete suspense by the show, being spoiled by season four's adrenaline-fest. In any case, the show has almost redeemed its underwhelming start in the last few weeks, so let's get down to tonight's happenings in Miami.
We open with Deb and Quinn again questioning big bad Jordan Chase, who is becoming less and less...cooperative. Well, actually, dude is losing it. Big time. We are reminded that Jordan's DNA has not been found on any of the victims, leaving Deb's main purpose in the episode to find a way to catch this [colorful terminology].
Cut to Dex and Lumen, who are having a cozy moment over some floor plans (love that they used army men for visual aids!) of Jordan's lair, when Dex makes an alarming discovery on Harrison's baby monitor - someone is watching them! Good gracious, that took too many episodes to figure out. As Lumen and Dex discuss who could possibly care about what he is up to (as white panel vans are a dime a dozen in Miami), Lumen inquires as to whether Dex thinks Deb has ever suspected how Dexter spends his recreational hours. "She has a blind spot when it comes to me," he confesses. However, this seems to be an intentional plot point, obviously leading up to Deb finally discovering the truth, or at least coming closer than she's ever been (season finale fodder?).
Quinn is then paid a visit by Liddy, fresh off being officially terminated, and who is getting as demanding as his dialect is irritating (can't handle his pronunciation of "po-lice"). Quinn refuses, and Liddy peels out in a huff (that'll show 'em!). At the same time, Dex discovers that the surveillance equipment was checked out by Quinn, but assures Lumen that they still have time to take control of the situation. After all, "no torches or pitchforks." Oh, Dex, even in the midst of crisis, you still tickle me with your internal monologue.
In the meantime, Deb is busy attempting to convince the homicide department of her vigilante theory (presented in last week's episode). Everyone is on board except for (surprise!) LaGuerta, who has abandoned her usual butt-hugging floral skirt for - a floral top! Maria, you trickster. Just when we were going to start a floral skirt drinking game. Through a series of far leaps, the team concludes that a man is helping the vigilante victim (a-duh). Masuka compares them to Bonnie and Clyde, at which Dexter's brow furrows in worry. "Great. They ended up dead in a bullet-riddled car," he quips. Honestly, with the poor police work Miami Metro is turning out this season, I'm unsure they could solve a game of Clue, much less a homicide. For example, what did Deb and Quinn do last week after they discovered the footprint outside Alex Tildon's house? Grab Starbucks and call it a night? Ridiculous.
Dex, on the other hand, has bigger fish to fry. He and Lumen pay Quinn's house a visit, but apart from the discovery that Quinn is amused by flatulent cats, it proves useless. Meanwhile, Deb and Quinn have a chat with Dan the Dentist's wife (can we discuss how his doors actually SAY "Dan the Dentist"?), who leads them to Jordan Chase's true identity, fatty Eugene Greer. Again, it seems completely unrealistic that they wouldn't have discovered in what, six weeks of dealing with this guy - what they establish in the first ten minutes of an episode of Bones. If they had looked into Jordan Chase's history at all (as any moron would have by this point - see above Clue comment), they wouldn't seem so incompetent. Writers, I am disappointed in your belief in my stupidity as an audience member. But I digress.
We arrive at the real OMG moment in the episode. Dex has narrowed the shady-A van options to one and pounces, believing the van to be containing Quinn, only to see Dexter immediately taken down by Liddy (this elicited more than a few shrieks from my watching buddies). Liddy called Quinn and told him to get down and meet him so that he can bust Dexter (for what? Holding a knife?).
Lumen, who is proving to be both understanding and completely stupid, sets off for Emily Birch's house, right into a trap set by Jordan. Jordan implores her to get Dexter there, and she leaves him a few frantic messages before Emily's whining proves to be too much for Jordan, who beats her to death with an iron poker (how cliche!). Lumen fights back, and that's the last we see of her, but Jordan laments finally having to get his hands dirty.
Back in the white panel van, good 'ol Dex puts himself to good use by both kicking the confession cam right into Liddy's face and MacGuyver-ing his knife right down into his heart (fist pump!). Good riddance to bad rubbish. However, things were not smooth sailing for our hero, as he had to leave Liddy's body behind (and avoid Quinn, arriving to deal with his unleashed monster, but not before he got a drop of blood on his shoe), to rescue Lumen.
When Dex arrives at Jordan's, he finds the body of Emily, deducing that Lumen has been taken to that dreaded second location. With a look of pure vengance (and hottness?) we fade to black.
So, what do we think is going to happen next week? There are so many storylines to wrap up, but the one I am most intrigued by is how this sitch between Dex and Quinn is going to be resolved. It seems too good to be true that the two will shake hands and depart as friends. Also, what is going to happen with Lumen? Dex expressed his desire to have her stick around, and actually, I wouldn't mind her sticking around either. It's nice to see Dex maybe growing some genuine affection for someone by being able to share his real life. In any case, see you next Sunday!
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