A Dramatic Conclusion

Welcome, Rose Enthusiasts to what is sure to be a very long three hours of television! It is the night we have all been waiting for - THE FINALE! After avoiding spoilers for months and months and months, I would like to shame thank my #1 Fan, Rylee Nutall, for spoiling the ending for me on Saturday. Thanks, Rylee! But, that's not going to stop me from walking you through the end of this train wreck. It's the least we can do after all of this time wasted together, right?

We pick up Chris's journey back in Arlington, IA, where Chris is trekking through some winter snow in an impeccably tailored pea coat using words like "unsure," "on the fence," and "50/50" to describe his current state of mind. This sounds like a man prepped for wedlock, amiright??? There's nothing more flattering than knowing that you are the lesser of two evils when having a husband choose you!

The Farmer Takes the Hotseat

Welcome back to the Bachelor blog, Rose Enthusiasts! I have been overwhelmed with both work and a wedding, and am happy to be back with you for this season's edition of "The Women Hate Kelsey!" But, before we get to that, let's discuss a few highlights that we missed over the last couple of weeks.

1) Jade. I mean, need I say more about this? In what universe (or at least one that's being broadcast on a major network) is it EVER a good idea to sit down with a potential suitor and check out your internet nudes? If the "check out how hot I am" look on her face during this whole "shameful" situation is any indication, it probably won't be the last time she does it. Anyway, yikes. 

2) Britt. I am slightly obsessed with the fact that there was no reject limo to pick Britt up after she was removed from the running so we had to practically see her decide whether to be awash in a puddle of her own snot or burn the house down. Definitely on par with the Jason Mesnick balcony cry as far as dramatic excellence goes. 

3) How AMAZING was the sigh that Chris emitted when Becca told him she's a virgin? I mean, underground mole people could have heard that thing. Glad he "respects" that though. *wiiiiiink*